I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I think i got beer on your cat.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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