honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Every concussion has its silver lining
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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