its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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