omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
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Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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