you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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