I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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