he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Randomize