i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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