I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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