Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just send me my own nude
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize