i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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