This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize