Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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