3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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