Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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