Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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