Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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