I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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