She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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