Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
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Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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