u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize