Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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