Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize