I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize