i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize