remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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