We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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