I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize