Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
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between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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