you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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