Your dad touched me again.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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