She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
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Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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