I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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