Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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