i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
We're too hungover to prance.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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