i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize