Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
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he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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