I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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