Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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