im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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