Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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