oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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