You just made me feel so damn special
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
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Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
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You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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