Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
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