Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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