I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize