it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
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You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
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Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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