Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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