I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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