respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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