I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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